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Again.

You're an unfinished story and now that I heard about you again, it's killing me.
I was young and untill today I don't really know what happen, I don't know what kind of game you played with me, but somehow I felt hurt and somehow you're not as insignificant for me as I thought you were. I really don't like it. I wish you didn't affect me and I don't know why you do. I guess... I'm just guessing that until today I don't know if you were honest with me or if you fooled me, you know? I've no idea. Cause you play (or played) mind games and I don't know which parts of your speech were true or not. 
For all these years I choose to believe that you really felt something for me, cause it made me feel better about everything we've been through. But now, now that I know that probably you'll be back with her, everything is broken and all that I believed makes no sense.
I can't imagine you with her, I can't imagined we having a drink together, I can't imagine. For all these years I saved a picture of you in my mind, a picture of someone that was caring and loving, someone that, unlike every other guys, made me feel that I was worth it, really. Unlike everyone, you made me feel that I was worth it, that I didn't need to get away, that I shouldn't feel less than her. What about now? Now I feel that all that is a lie, I feel that I'm not worth it, that I am less than her, cause she always gets what she needs. She´s not guilty... Deep inside neither are you, but I can't help feeling a angry, fooled, sad. It's stupid but I feel like you betrayed me. I feel that because, all this time you where trying to find her, to contact her, to be with her, to do whatever you wanted with her...but never, never, never you looked for me. After that day, after that last message, I've never talked to you again, never. You never said you miss me, you never apologized, you never said you were back... probably you never thought about me again.

 I just want to call you right now, to meet you somewhere and look deep in your eyes and finally see.  Who the fuck are you?

 I feel... I don't know what I feel right now. I wish I could just delete the memories of you.


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